"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Randomize
