what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
