You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
