I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
