haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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