Will you blow on my dice?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
