I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
