idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
