Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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