The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize