Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
