you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
