so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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