I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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