In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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