i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
