Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My life is pants optional.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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