two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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