a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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