Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
