I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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