i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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