i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
