At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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