It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
