She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize