I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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