How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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