Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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