I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
