Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
