Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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