I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
