There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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