I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm getting married
To pizza
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
