So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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