Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
