Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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