doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize