she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
