I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
please come you make the beer taste better
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
