I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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