I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
