She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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