just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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