I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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