Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
