So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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