Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
