hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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