You're so nebulous sometimes
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
