Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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