As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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