What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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