The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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