Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
