okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
