im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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