You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
