i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
