if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
