why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
