dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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