Where is the hickey?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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