I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
