worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
