Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
