do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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