I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
