Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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