Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
