So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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