Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
