So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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