Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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