My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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