I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
