Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
