Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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