Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
